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James T. Kirk or Jean-Luc Picard/Kirk
100. Kirk is a leader, not a follower. * 099. Kirk never really got into that kinky "Jumpsuit" look. * 098. Kirk has sex more than once a season. * 097. One Word: Hair. * 096. Another Word: Pretty-good-looking-can't-see-the-weave-WIG. * 095. Kirk can beat up a Klingon bare-handed. * 094. Picard is a French man with an English accent. * 093. Kirk would date Beverly Crusher -- and damn the consequences!! * 092. Kirk never drinks tea. Ever. * 091. Diplomacy for Kirk is a phaser and a smirk. * 090. Kirk would personally throw Wesley off his bridge. * 089. Two words: Shoulder Roll. * 088. Kirk doesn't wear dresses when admirals arrive for lunch. * 087. Kirk once said: "I've got a belly-ache -- and it's a beauty." * 086. Kirk would never sing to children in a crisis. * 085. Kirk can almost drive a stick shift. * 084. Kirk, almost single-handedly, re-populated the Earth's whale population. * 083. Kirk says "Prime Directive? What Prime Directive?" * 082. Kirk knows 20th Century curses. * 081. Kirk was NEVER infiltrated by the Borg and used against the Federation. * 080. Kirk ate little coloured cubes and still remained relatively healthy. * 079. Kirk made do with obviously low performance technology. * 078. Kirk never pretends to be a barber in order to gain a tactical advantage. * 077. Kirk wasn't shy about taking his shirt off -- even around those pesky Yeomans. * 076. Kirk would never waste a holodeck on something stupid like Dixon Hill. * 075. Kirk never once stood up and had to straighten his shirt. * 074. One Word: Velour. * 073. Kirk can beat a Vulcan at Chess. * 072. When Kirk was Picard's age, he retired from Admiral and took to climbing rocks. * 071. When Picard was 37, he was only Captain of the lowly freighter, Stargazer. When Kirk was 37, he was Captain of the flagship Enterprise. * 070. Kirk liked a good belt of liquor every now and again. * 069. One Word: Iman. * 068. Kirk looks good with a ripped shirt. * 067. If Kirk ever met a Ferengi, he would rip off its head and shit down its neck. * 066. Kirk says "Shoot first and wait for retaliation." * 065. Kirk's first officer NEVER tells him to stay on the bridge. * 064. Kirk never leaves the room to bawl somebody out. * 063. Kirk doesn't rely on the wisdom of some dumb old janitor to get him out of intergalactic scrapes. * 062. Two Words: Funky Sideburns. * 061. Kirk never asks his bartender for advice. * 060. Kirk never once said "Abandon ship! All hands abandon ship!" * 059. Kirk is not politically correct. * 058. Kirk never got "dumped" by a woman for an intergalactic busy body named after a letter of the alphabet. * 057. Kirk never wore green tights and frolicked about in Sherwood Forest. * 056. If there was ever a Klingon on Kirk's bridge, Kirk would likely be dead. * 055. Ever hear of a bar shooter called "Make it so?" No? How about a "Beam me up Scotty" then? See the difference? * 054. One Word: Miniskirts. * 053. Kirk's girlfriends always look good in soft light. * 052. Kirk never went anywhere without a whole bunch of guys in red shirts. * 051. Kirk's first officer didn't play some wimpy instrument like the trombone. * 050. Kirk had more dates than his first officer. * 049. The extent of Kirk's knowledge of Klingon vocabulary can be roughly translated as "GO F*CK YOURSELF." * 048. If something doesn't speak English -- it's toast. * 047. Kirk wasn't some prissy archaeology fan. * 046. Picard's middle name isn't tough or awe-inspiring like Tiberius is. * 045. If Kirk finds a strange spinning probe, he blows it up. * 044. Picard never met Joan Collins. * 043. Picard flunked his entrance exams to Starfleet. * 042 Picard hasn't fathered any children; Kirk -- probably millions. * 041. Kirk has a cool phaser -- not some pansy Braun mix-master. * 040. Two Words: Line Delivery. * 039. Picard grew up on a quaint little French vineyard, squishing grapes with his toes, while Kirk slung bails of wheat and hay in Iowa to put himself through school. * 038. Kirk emphasizes his orations with pertinent hand gestures. * 037. Kirk once made a cannon out of bamboo, sulphur, potassium nitrate, charcoal and then fired diamonds into the hearts of his enemies. (Need we say more?) * 036. Kirk is not put off by green skin. * 035. Kirk knows how to deal with peace loving hippy goofs. * 034. Kirk once fought a Greek god. And won. * 033. Kirk barely asks for suggestions. And if he does, he asks Spock only. * 032. Kirk doesn't let the doctor tell him what to do. * 031. One Word: Fisticuffs. * 030. Kirk's name is hated throughout the galaxy. * 029. Kirk appreciates Shakespeare, but he doesn't let it show. * 028. You can never lock up Kirk for very long. * 027. Kirk's eulogies can actually make you cry. * 026. Kirk plays god with lesser cultures, and then exploits them for resources. * 025. Kirk's son would never drop out to become a musician. * 024. Kirk can climb up a Jeffries Tube and fix anything. * 023. Kirk never hired an engineer with punk glasses. * 022. The Klingons didn't have a word for surrender -- until they met Kirk. * 021. Kirk's bridge is not beige. * 020. Two Words: Crane Shots. * 019. Picard likes wimpy violin music -- and coerces Data into playing it. * 018. Picard allows cats on board, while Kirk beams away even really cute things, like Tribbles. * 017. Kirk is a cultural icon -- Picard is just some guy who's really nice. * 016. Kirk specifically ordered a swivel LA-Z-BOY for the bridge. * 015. Kirk would never touch SYNTHAHOL. * 014. Kirk looks distinguished in reading glasses -- and nobody dares to call him "four eyes." * 013. Kirk can infiltrate Gangsters, Nazis, and even the Pentagon -- easily. * 012. Picard likes painting nudes, for art's sake. * 011. When Kirk doesn't trust the Romulans, he fires at them. When Picard doesn't trust the Romulans, he gets fired at. * 010. Kirk never once, ever, wore a wiener wrapping Speedo banana hammock on shore leave. * 009. Kirk never gets his command codes locked out by some pimply acting ensign. * 008. Kirk doesn't test the engines -- he just fires them up. * 007. When Kirk says "Boldly Go," he MEANS it. * 006. Three Words: Flying Leg Kick * 005. Picard's crew would never ever think of him as a sexual object. * 004. Kirk traveled through The Great Barrier, met God, and wasn't even impressed. * 003. Kirk's bedroom is a passion pit with electric sheets. * 002. Kirk would never let his Chief of Security wear a ponytail. * 001. One Word: Balls. Source: http://www.duke.edu/web/DRAGO/humor/trek/kirk-vs-picard.html